More Thoughts on Prop. 8 for Those Who May Still Question the Church's Involvement

Now that the battle for Proposition 8 in California is won, I find myself more passionate than ever about the importance of protecting marriage as between a man and a woman. I want to address this post to any member of the LDS Church who may still have reservations about the Church's involvement on this issue.

First of all, let me just say that I really sympathize with you. My involvement in Prop. 8 has been a remarkable journey, which to be honest, started out kind of luekwarm for me. I just didn't think that it was such a big deal, and I questioned why the Church would get involved politically.

Being here in the middle of the Prop 8 maelstrom, Karene and I have had to look pretty hard at ourselves in the mirror and convince ourselves that we should be behind this. Let me tell you, I don't think I could have made all of the sometimes less-than-warmly received phone calls and sign waving without first convincing myself that this is what we're supposed to do. It has also exposed me to some very serious questions that have been thrown at us by the opposition. Karene found the blog of an active gay member of the church that has really affected both of us more than we could have imagined. He is one of the most spiritually-mature, sincere, and wonderful individuals that we have ever encountered. Reading about his panic attack when he really unmistakably realized that he was gay, was so sincere and genuine, that both of our hearts went out to him. I had the uncomfortable realization that I still had some prejudice and fear towards gays. I'm not talking about homophobia, just an underlying impression that they somehow choose this for themselves. I now believe that it is a combination of nature and nurture, but that for most homosexuals, it is mostly nature. I have, perhaps for the first time, actually put myself in the shoes of a gay Mormon mentally, and imagined what that would be like. It would be worse than tearing off one of your arms, I think, because it would be like spiritually tearing yourself apart between your faith and your desire for companionship and romantic love.

So why am I so behind Prop 8? Church members already know why. It's to strengthen the most essential unit of any society - the family. It's to establish mother and father as the ideal and natural companionship to nurture children, bringing the unique and complimentary traits of both sexes into the home. Sure, that's already not the case for many homes, but it's about society recognizing that marriage is more about children than couples. I feel no glee in thinking about the slap in the face that this is to gay and lesbian couples. I honestly feel a sense of sadness with this victory. But I know that a prophet of God, who can see as a watchman from the tower the impending consequences of this issue, has not taken lightly the decision to call on the Church to support this issue. Being a member of the church automatically comes with the burden of being unpopular. It has not generally been popular in the past, and I can't expect it to be popular in the future. We will never be totally mainstream. But that doesn't mean that we can't keep trying to be understood. Karene and I have had an awakening experience in trying to walk in the shoes of a gay man. Can we not simply ask the same of the gay and lesbian community? To simply look at this from our perspective, and recognize that this is not about hatred, and that church members in California do not rejoice in the sorrow of our homosexual brothers and sisters? Tolerance is a two-way street, and we can only hope to be understood in as much as we try to understand others.

I know the Church is true, and I know that President Monson has called on Californians to support this issue with very good reason. We may never know the extent of the consequences of the Church's role in getting this measure passed. This is the first time in my life that I can remember the Church getting involved in a political issue. Because the Church so rarely gets involved in issues like this, the fact that the Church has become involved should be a big flag to every member that this is really, really important.

If this issue represents a crisis for your faith, remember that a trial of faith can also make one stronger. Karene and I have found comfort in a quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell, that I'm including here:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions. President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had 'never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life.'

"This is hard doctrine, but it is particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. . . . Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . . . This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions.

"Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened....Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even in these, however, let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel. There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds which was, till then, unconscious of itself. Jesus said that when the fig trees put forth their leaves, 'summer is nigh.' Thus warned that summer is upon us, let us not then complain of the heat."

If you are still struggling with the Church's involvement due to negative personal ramifications as a church member, please read this statement, released yesterday:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-storie
s/church-responds-to-same-sex-marriage-votes

I think there are some very good points in there. For one, the Church acknowledges that not all members agree on this issue, and go on to say that we should be "understanding of each other and work together to make society better." I guess I just don't see why the Church shouldn't take a stand on an important moral issue on the basis that it will lead to personal difficulty for church members. I just found out that the L.A. Temple is closed today because 2,000+ angry protesters are marching out in front of it. There has been a commercial vilifying Mormon missionaries as "Home Invaders" trying to take away as many rights as they can. Am I discomfited about all of this? You bet I am. I'm even starting to feel some concern for my personal safety and the safety of my family. Protesters in Hollywood last night became violent and several were arrested by police officers.

One could well ask why so much anger and retaliation is being directed against Mormons. Blacks in California (10% of all voters) were 70% yes on Prop. 8. The Catholic Church and many evangelical churches were also yes on Prop. 8. Mormons (2% of Californians) did not coerce 52% of all Californians to vote yes, we just did our best to remind them why they should. In the end, over half of all Californians voted yes in an anonymous booth, according to the dictates of their own consciences. So again, why are Mormons targeted? Easy, because we're a safe target. It's a lot easier for an outside observer to not notice the hypocrisy of singling out Mormons as hate-mongers and bigots than it would be if blacks were being singled out.

Some have questioned the Church's collaboration with other churches that have, in the past, refused to recognize us as Christians. I respond, "Why shouldn't we take a stand with other Churches on this issue?" We have never accused them of not being Christians. Isn't the most Christlike thing to do to not harbor resentment towards these other Churches? One religious youth group has declared November 5th "Mormon Appreciation Day." I believe that our working together with these other churches has built bridges that could never have been built otherwise, and that have led to greater sympathy and appreciation for the Mormon Church.

How far is this going to go? Who knows. But I'll tell you one thing. I am not ashamed of my involvement in this issue, or the Church's involvement. This has never been about hatred or bigotry. It is about a belief, backed by an enormous amount of scientific evidence, that the strongest families are those with a mother and a father, period. Members of the Church have faced much greater persecution in the past for their beliefs that this. Why should we expect to be exempt?

As the opponents of Proposition 8 react to the decision with retaliation and religious discrimination, I will continue to fight any feelings of prejudice against them, or the gay/lesbian community. I can understand their pain and anger, and I can see that the Church is the easiest target for them. It's just human nature. Granted, not the best side of human nature, but at least I can understand why they might convince themselves that this is an appropriate way to react. I hope that in reading this, you can gain a testimony about the Church's involvement, but if you don't, the leaders of the Church have said that they understand why members might not get behind this, and there is no mandate to agree. That said, I really, really hope that all church members will come to agree.